Life Is But A Drink

You know, sometimes you just have to take the time to teach your kids some fundamental life lessons.  Last night was such a night.

The life lesson on tap?  The CONGA LINE!

We were upstairs getting dressed for bed and, for some reason or other, I had that conga line song going through my head.  And then it occurred to me that this was a real opportunity.  A real opportunity to teach them something truly valuable and important.

So, my friends, let’s get this party started.  The hallway shall be our studio.  And let us go where the music takes us.

I first worked on the basics with them one on one.

 

 

And then we put it together for the grand finale.

It’s time like these – when I can pass on something so fundamentally important to their future survival skills – that I feel like I might have truly crossed the line over into parenting greatness.

Weddings and Bar Mitzvahs and awkward office parties will thank me for years to come.  So, you’re welcome.

Back in the day, if you baked cupcakes for your kid to take to school for his or her birthday, you might have spiced them up with some sprinkles and a candle and then you were the coolest mom ever.

And, then a few years ago, people started with the whole cupcake topper thing and, if you were super cool, you had some sort of a stick with some sort of a medallion sticking out of your cupcakes.  And if you were super super cool, you also had a special cardboard wrapper that went around the standard wrapper that complemented your topper.

But then everyone was doing cupcake toppers (including me) and so it was no longer enough.  So, people started putting favors on top of the cupcakes.  Big plastic rings are particularly big these days, as evidenced by the fact that my kids are coming home regularly from school with big plastic rings.  It was FILL IN THE BLANK’s BIRTHDAY TODAY!  Yay!  And I got a ring because FILL IN THE BLANK’s mom is super cool.  Look at my beautiful new ring, Mom!  

 

{And there’s also some sort of sticker on a stick trend going on right now in cupcake world that my son insists is pretty much the coolest thing and the kids with stupendously cool moms send cupcakes with stickers on them.  Apparently I am not a stupendously cool mom because I have the faintest idea what he is talking about and I can’t find a photo online that helps me figure it out.  Anytime I search for “cupcakes” and “stickers,” I get cupcake stickers. Which is apparently not what I’m looking for.  Oh well.  Moving on. }

So, the other day when I started talking to my son about what kind of cupcakes he wanted (what color cake, what color frosting), he made sure I understood that there had to be SOMETHING on top of the cupcakes that the kids could take home with them.  A sticker (what in God’s name are you talking about?!??!), a ring… something.  Because if not, then it wasn’t even worth bringing cupcakes because he would be laughed out of the school cafeteria for having like the least cool mom in town.

Seriously?!?!

So, I starting pondering what to put on the cupcakes.  At first, I wanted to do a little Lego minifigure on each one because I thought that would be super cute and fun.  I was picturing chocolate cupcakes with red frosting and a classic minifigure standing on top.

But then I priced out what it would cost to buy enough minifigures for 27 cupcakes and quickly decided that was not a workable option. I love my kid and all, but I wasn’t about to spend $100 on toys for the tops of his birthday cupcakes.  No way, no how.

So then I hit the party store in town and wandered through the party favor aisle to see if I could find something that tickled my fancy.  I almost got a package of gold “coins,” but then came across packages of these little die cast cars for $9.99 each.  Sold.   I ended up making vanilla cupcakes with green and orange frosting, and set one car on the top of each cupcake.  (Even after nearly two years of blogging, I forget to take pictures of these sorts of things so I don’t actually have any photos of these car cupcakes… sorry.  Life gets in the way of blogging sometimes, so forgive me.)

They were a big hit at school.  After the kids finished up their cupcakes and licked all of the frosting off the bottom of the car, they each had a little working die cast car that they could take home with them (to add to their collection of  15 million other die cast cars, no doubt).

My kid was thrilled. He told me that the cars were the best thing that had ever been brought on top of birthday cupcakes.  Ever.  Mission accomplished.

But, back to the I Don’t Get It part of this post…  well, I don’t get it.  What happened to sprinkles and a candle?  Believe you me, as a working mom, it’s hard enough to get the cupcakes made.  Add figuring out something creative to put on top and then actually going out and buying said creative thing and you’ve nearly sent me over the edge.

And I don’t even want to think about what’s next in this apparently never-ending battle to outdo the other moms in the world of birthday cupcakes.  I’m thinking it involves fondant and batteries.

 

 

{Links to photos here, here, here, here}

 

These are two times when my daughter decides – almost without fail – that she needs to use the potty:

(1) 3 minutes after she gets into the bathtub; and

(2) About 90 seconds after our food arrives when eating out at a restaurant.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’d prefer that she tell me that she needs to go the bathroom when she is in the bathtub rather than just letting go in the tub.  I appreciate that.  My son (who still takes a bath with his sister) particularly appreciates that.  But getting her out of the tub and onto the potty – all with an incredible sense of urgency, it seems – is always, well, wet.  And annoying.  So, we’ve implemented a new rule:  potty first, then bath.  So far, so good.

The restaurant thing drives me nuts.  Because she doesn’t do it before we order, or while we are waiting for our food, or as we are wrapping up.  It’s literally only after our food has arrived and I’ve taken maybe one or two bites.  Mom, I need to go potty.  Really?  Now?  It can’t wait?  No, I think I’m going to pee in my underpants.  Oh joy.

The worst is when I am out alone with the kids in a restaurant.  Because then I have to take both kids with me to the bathroom and then first deal with my son’s aversion to going into the women’s restroom (see here).

But, Mom, that’s where the girls go and I’m not a girl.  

Right you are, young man.  However, I can’t go into the men’s restroom and I can’t leave you out here by yourself so you’ve got to come with us to where the girls go.

But, Mom…

Believe you me, kid, this is not my idea of a good time either.  

And, once we’ve gotten through that hurdle, I get to stand there while my daughter makes comments about all of the other people in the public restroom.  Mom, is that lady going potty too?  Mom, who is that?  Mom, did you hear that toilet flush?  All of this while my food is getting cold… and while my son is still complaining that he is being forced to hang in the God forsaken women’s restroom.

And then there’s the strong likelihood that our food will actually get cleared off of the table while we are off on our bathroom adventure.  Because that’s happened.  A couple of times.  Getting back from a not-ideally-timed restroom break only to discover that your food – the food that you only got to take a bite or two of – has been taken away.  So not cool.

I’ve recently gotten into the habit of asking someone at a table nearby to stand guard and wave off any over-eager restaurant table-clearer.  It takes a village, you know…