My dad passed away two years ago today. Two years. It’s strange because it seems like it was just yesterday. But then it also seems like it was forever ago.
A few weeks ago, my husband and I started talking about the fact that the anniversary of his death was coming up. And I’m guessing our son overheard some of these conversations. Because a couple of weeks ago, as we were visiting some friends, he started crying and told us that he didn’t want to die. It was pretty intense. He was very upset. There wasn’t much to say except that we loved him and we understand and death was indeed scary. I didn’t expect him to start having an existential crisis at the age of 5, but I also didn’t expect for him to be exposed to so much death in his first years of life. Especially people like my dad who meant to much to him.
Death sucks. I kinda hate you, Death.
The photo was taken just a few years before my dad’s death. My mom and him went on an around-the-world cruise. The traveled a lot during those final years after he got sick. He hadn’t traveled much before because there was work and life and what seemed like plenty of time, I guess. I’m glad he was able to cram as much of it as he could into those final years when time was running out.
This photo is one of my favorites of him. Not only becuase it is simply a beautiful photo and because it was taken towards the end of his life. But because it looks a bit like he was ready. Ready to tackle whatever was to come next.
And I like to think that was the case, although I’m not sure that it was. Because who is ever really ready.
I miss you, Dad.